To Houston Sir
I slide my hand through the harsh gravel and feel for his hand. The night is cold and the air is frigid. I take a deep breath and thank God we’re still laying together under the moon only an hour away from Texas. I hear a woman singing to her small elderly mother in a beautiful Guatemalan dialect and I feel safer that she is around.
Last night we all most lost her, she would have been the fourth one. Diego and I are really lucky to be here tonight, sleeping side by side in the last of this Mexican earth. He’s all I have left and I would be nothing without him.
“He’s your brother?” I look up and see the kid that runs alongside with the coyote motion to me.
“Yes.” I sit up and slide closer to Diego, I begin to feel anxious.
“How old is he?” He cuts an apple with his sharp little knife and scoops the slice up to his mouth.
“Ten.” I swallow and give Diego a little squeeze.
“I was only fifteen when I first made it to the other side.” He slightly smiles and offers me a piece.
“Did you do it alone?”
“Yes, my parents both died.”
“During the cross?”
“Yes, we tried through the fucking river.” He coughs and spits out a chunk of apple. I look around at all the tired faces, hungry, and cold just like me.
“Are the people nice out there?”
“No, but the others that have crossed are. Well sometimes. Just go as far as you can away from them. Be with the gringos, don’t be with your own kind.” He slides down onto the gravel and tips his hat over his face. “I wouldn’t trust anyone for a long time.”
I pull Diego closer to me, his small body is warmer than mine. I hold him for a moment and slowly close my eyes.
A gun shot jolts us all awake and I hear the boy scream, “GET UP AND RUN!” I grab my bag and Diego and bolt. I see a white truck with a gun to the side shooting at anything in sight.
“Run Diego, just run, don’t stop!”
“I can’t!” I see the fear in his face and tears running down his eyes, but there is not time to explain, we just have to run.
“Come this way!” The boy grabs my hand and leads me down the side, and we run.
Through a small clearing and behind a great big rock we duck and wait before making our next move.
“What the fuck was that?” I look around the rock and watch the big white truck chase a small family down. A tall white man ties a couple down while the elderly woman cries by her daughter’s side who’s been shot.
“Are we going to die?” Diego tugs on my shirt, tears and dirt covering his face.
“No kid, we’re just gunna sit here and hide.” We watch as they round up the wounded, the scared and the one who all most got away. They search for hours looking for more, but only 5 got away including the coyote.
“I think we’re going to be okay.” The kid whispers in my ear, his eyes steady and his face narrowed. I have no choice but to trust him.
“What do we do now?” I clean Diego’s face with the last wet napkin I had. He still is shaking and crying.
“We wait.” Juan whispers. “You look like a strong kid. I promise when we get to the states I will buy you a big ice cream, just for being so brave.
Hours pass, the truck finally leaves. I hear the moans of the captured and I feel their pain. We cry for them and wish them well. We know where they are going. They have lost everything, because unlike us, they didn’t know where to run.
“I’m hungry!” Diego whispers to me, he’s not use to any strangers.
“Here kid,” he hands him another apple, “don’t eat that too fast!”
“What do we do now?” I ask, the sun is starting to get too hot, and we have barely found any shade behind this rock.
“We have to move very slow, hiding until we know we’re safe. You have to trust me, and I promise I’ll get you to the other side.”
“We have no choice, we have to trust you.”
“I know it’s hard. I’ve been watching you. I won’t let anything happen.”
“Well I don’t even know your name, in the last 3 days you have never said a word to me until last night.”
“My name is Juan, and I’m not allowed to talk to you. The coyote forbids it. Last night he was drunk, so I knew it was okay. “
“Why do you work for him?”
“Because it’s all I know how to do.” He looks at his water container and realizes its not much. “I seen you with this kid, and I just had to help you. This journey is not a pretty one, most of the time no one makes it out alive.”
“Juan thank you.” I smile and take out my last big bottle of water and hand it to him. He smiles and pours it into his bottle then looks around the rock. His words haunt me inside.
“Lets move!” We walk fast but not far, making sure the coast is clear. Listening for others, or the truck. Juan carries Diego over his shoulder and leads the way. He cares for Diego like his own kin, and I can see he cares.
“Do you think the others are with the coyote?” I ask.
“There’s no way to know for sure.” He clears his throat and tells me they’d be dead just the same. The coyote is a thief, he takes all the he can. He probably called the truck in to take the people for all they got. I always knew to hide my money, but this just made me go into a little shock.
We keep walking through the bush, down the valley until we find one of the others asleep behind a great tall bush. Juan walks over to him and taps him on the shoulder, but he doesn’t move. He’s died.
“Lets go, this doesn’t look good for him.” He points to Diego who is miserable and hot and scared. I hold his hand tight and we walk a little faster knowing, that we can’t last long out here, today was the last day and our food and water is low.
Hours pass, and the sun is starting to go down. Finally we are only minutes away from Texas and I can see the lights of the near by town. Juan is getting restless. He keeps trying to figure out the best way. He says we wait till really late and just make a run for it.
“For now lets just get a little sleep, I’ll keep watch and you guys rest.” I hold Diego close in my arms and I close my eyes and quickly fall to sleep. I can feel Juan watching, making sure we’re safe.
The wind howls a little and it begins to rain. I doze in and out of sleep.
“Juan are you fucking kidding me!” I wake and find the coyote with a gun in his hand pointing it towards Juan who is protecting us with his body,
“What’s happening Mara?” Diego screams, clutching me tightly.
“Diego close your eyes.” I hold him close and begin to pray.
“Leave them alone, they have nothing!”
“Bullshit Juan, no one ever comes with nothing!” The coyote looks at me, his gold teeth sparkle in the dark.
“What does he want Juan?” I cry out.
“She knows your name!” He walks closer to me. “Tell me, did Juan tell you that he planned to kill and rape you? Take your money and leave you here to die!?”
“No, Juan was helping us!”
“You idiots with your fucking shit dreams.” He laughs and motions for my bag.
“Leave them alone I said!”
“Give me the bag you bitch!” He points the gun at me, then at him, Diego’s head.
“Take it!” I throw it in his direction and pick up Diego and run. I run harder and faster even though I hear the gun go off. I don’t care anymore, the money was hidden in my pants, everything we needed was in that bag, except the money.
Finally I reach the border and I don’t look back, I put Diego back down and we run. Tears run down my face, I feel the American soil under my feet. I still don’t feel free. We run and run and finally we stop, out of breath, words, and tears.
There is no sounds, no light, no direction. All there is, is us. I find a ditch and we duck. Sleeping is not an option for me but all I can give to Diego.
Hours pass and it’s time to move, I begin to hear sounds. I look at Diego and kiss him on the forehead, he’s tired and all worn down.
“Don’t stop Diego, we’re all most there.”
“Where’s mom?”
“Really close, I know she is really close.”
“What about Juan?”
“He’s gone, it’s just us.” I wipe my tears and take his hand and we begin to walk. I find a road and remember what Juan had said, once we get to the road look as local as you can.
“Are we going the right way?”
“Yes.” We keep walking until we get to a small Mexican store. Inside I smell the spices, and cheese and all the things that remind me of home.
“How can I help you?” The small old man asks, I look around and the store is empty.
“I need a bathroom, and a phone.”
“Where are you from?”
“Here of course.” I smile and fix my hair, I know I look tired like I just came from the desert.
“You don’t have to tell me. I all ready know.” He walks us to the back of the shop and shows us the phone. “I did it once too, a very long time ago.” He hands Diego bread and a soda and walks back to the front.
I dial the number I memorized. Since last month.
“Hello?” a voice on the other side answers.
“Mama?”
“Yes?”
“Mama we’re here.”
“OH thank God,where are you?”
“Texas but I don’t really know where.”
“Take the bus to Huston and I’ll be there, waiting, till I see you!”
“Diego and I miss you and… and…”
“I know. I’m so proud of you my darling, I love you so much.” I hang up the phone and pull Diego into the bathroom with me, and we both begin to cry and laugh and cry. I wash our hands, face, ass, and brush our hair with my fingers and some water.
“I can’t wait to finally get there.” I sigh.
“Me too.”
“Diego I love you so much!”
“I love you too.”
Suddenly I hear the coyote, he’s in the store.
“I’m looking for a young girl and boy!” My heart skips a beat and I grab Diego very tight.
“Yes I saw them” The man says, I begin to look for another way out. Then suddenly I hear him sigh, “They were taken about two hours ago.” The coyote curses and slams the door as he leaves.
A knock at the door and I’m motionless, “yes?” I whisper.
“He’s looking for you still? Did you pay him?” The shop man asks.
“Yes.” I reply.
“Did he want more?”
“Yes.” I cry out.
“Where are you headed my dear?”
“To Houston sir.”
“Let me lock up and I’ll take you there myself. No good comes from an ugly man like that.”
We wait in the bathroom till the coast is clear. I grab Diego and we follow him to his car. Suddenly I hear a whistle I turn and see Juan, he’s looking around and motions for us to come.
“No it’s a trap.” The shop keeper says calmly.
“He saved us.”
“Yeah but there had to be a reason.” He gets in his car and Diego follows him in.
“Please let me say goodbye.”
I run to Juan who’s been beaten, his eyes are swollen and his lip busted.
“I’m sorry he took your stuff… I didn’t think he would.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Yes, I’m not going back, I’m running.” He looks around and smiles, I can tell he longs to be free.
“I’m headed to see my mama now.”
“Good luck okay?”
“Same to you Juan, and thank you.”
“Maybe I’ll see you one day.” The car beeps and its time for me to go. I give Juan a long hug, a little bit of money, and kiss on his beaten head.
“I’ll be in Huston.” I run back to the car, and we pull away. The old man from the shop drives off slowly, I watch as Juan disappears away.
When we get to the bus station the old man gives us each a bag of food. “I hope you guys make it safe. Good luck to you.”
He gets back into his car and drives off. We sit and wait. We hide until the bus comes, it looks so new and clean. We hand our tickets to the driver and find our seats in the back. In 5 hours we’ll be with our mama, after 7 years alone.
“This bus is really nice.” Diego says to me, suddenly he falls asleep. He rests his head on my lap and gently I run my fingers through his hair and sing him to sleep.
“All most as good as the Guatemalan’s” A voice calls out to me. I peak over to the aisle and it’s Juan sitting two rows ahead of me.
“Juan?”
“You didn’t expect me to let you guys go alone right?”
“No I guess that wouldn’t be the Juan I came to know.”
“Juan?” Diego peeks out with a great big smile.
“I said I’d buy you ice cream!” I lean back and close my eyes, knowing Juan would be there watching.
