i love him

mcfly cant do this

every day I brake my mold

I feel like everyday is a new expierence. Sometimes I try stupid things and sometimes I try things that make learn, grow, and change. Its not up to me whether or not I make good choices or bad ones, but its up to me to make sure I change for a reason.

Today I blew off so much built up steam. I cried. I didn't have any choice because it was deep inside me. I'm putting things that use to be me away and i'm starting to be someone i never truly wanted to be.

weak.

Im gonna try a new thing, im going to grow balls, and not be anyones door matt. I fucking am sick tired and done. I have to stop saying I'm sorry, stop being there for everyone and just live my life happy.

hahahah
i know
we have all heard that one before, but this time because im not doing anything but letting people get to me, im starting to pull apart.

once this lady from bumble and bumble came and said that people were suites, like there is always the gossiper, the intimidator, the doer, the two face, and then me, POOr PAula the one that is always bitchin, always weak, always crying. Ive cried so much and I'm done.

Im done crawling into my car to feel like shit, Im done holding the chip on my shoulder.

thank you.

who is grandpa stole bets

Tonight b and i decided to fool around online, look at stuff to laugh at, and just indulge in stupid humor, we found this weird comment someone made on someones blog, it was really intense, it makes you feel weird and then you realize how fucking scary this internet thing really it.


GOOGLE it
who is grandpa stole bets, and you will see all his comments and no explanasion....

No business

It really sucks being in your early-mid twenties in this day in age. I swear to God i don't know anyone that makes more than 35k a year. Its actually kinda sad.
I went to college, went to trade school, i studied, i interned, i did every little thing your suppose to do after school that your suppose to do, and I'm not making the money i thought i'd be making around this time in my life.

Its so shocking that people my age are so poor, in fact it makes me sick because in all reality its not fair.

The generations ahead of my time have really fucked things up. I remember as a kid id hear how my generation was going to make things in our government and our economy go down, but you know what, its not even close to the truth.

I heard about Suze Orman telling Bush just how fuckin sick he's made our economy and I applaud her for confronting someone so stupid and so blinded by the shit he did.

I should be making 1000 a week. I'm not. What the hell?

jason, paul

Tonight I went to see I love you man, it was really good and really sad. The movie was funny and Rush did a cameo, best band ever to put in a movie, and Jason was really good.

It was only sad because sometimes in life you really do stop making new friends and it is so hard to meet people. I have a really hard time in Stuart because barely anyone is my age around here, and barely anyone has personality or can totally function at my level and age.

most of the people i meet are either 18 or 45, yep.
what the hell could i do to meet people like me, or at least my age?

save me

TOday I had a really bad client, the kind that really makes you feel like shit, the kind you never want to meet.

more about it later.

holiday dorks

this is what I'm drinkin