Sunday, March 29, 2009

every day I brake my mold

I feel like everyday is a new expierence. Sometimes I try stupid things and sometimes I try things that make learn, grow, and change. Its not up to me whether or not I make good choices or bad ones, but its up to me to make sure I change for a reason.

Today I blew off so much built up steam. I cried. I didn't have any choice because it was deep inside me. I'm putting things that use to be me away and i'm starting to be someone i never truly wanted to be.

weak.

Im gonna try a new thing, im going to grow balls, and not be anyones door matt. I fucking am sick tired and done. I have to stop saying I'm sorry, stop being there for everyone and just live my life happy.

hahahah
i know
we have all heard that one before, but this time because im not doing anything but letting people get to me, im starting to pull apart.

once this lady from bumble and bumble came and said that people were suites, like there is always the gossiper, the intimidator, the doer, the two face, and then me, POOr PAula the one that is always bitchin, always weak, always crying. Ive cried so much and I'm done.

Im done crawling into my car to feel like shit, Im done holding the chip on my shoulder.

thank you.

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