Are we FRIENDS?

Have you ever wondered if the people your friends with still think of you as a friend? Lately I can't tell. Ever since i moved down south a lot of my friends from orlando have either changed or moved on or away. I miss the days when I could just text a friend to come over or meet up with anyone at any local bar. It's been so hard to make friends down here, sometimes I feel like I'll never have the social life I once did. The thing is it never mattered because i always felt like I could go to orlando and meet up with them at any time. NOPE A really close friend of mine has honestly made it clear that in order for me to meet up with or see them I have to make all the moves and be where they are no matter what. There is no half way point, and honestly it's not easy to drive up north for two hours and then drive another 45 min in the opposite direction... it's pretty lame. I don't know what kind of friend I am. I like to believe that I'm a good one, a caring one, and one that will always have your back. Yet when I look at my phone I realize maybe I'm not that great anymore. I hate sounding like a big baby but I guess I'm just tired of guessing who is gunna be there for me and who isn't. This month I'm gunna try really hard to make more friends and make my life here more permanent. Orlando is now in the past. I hate that feeling but the truth is when i go there it feels like the only person I go there for is my brother... which honestly is pretty cool cause he's really close to me and probably the only person i can always talk to. I'm not gunna shut anyone out of my life, my door is always open, I'm just not gunna expect things to change or people to try.. it's kinda like I'm not looking back. I need to believe that I'm worth a little more than that. I'm done chasing old friendships... it's time to make new ones...